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If you live with a chronic illness or chronic pain, the odds are that you have at least tried a support group once since your diagnosis. Did the situation go something like this?
You feel exhausted and not very motivated to attend the meeting but you decided to go anyway. Find the meeting place, a parking spot and the right room leaves you wiped out. At last you locate a hard, sticky seat. A few people smile at you, but there is a discussion going about now aggravating doctors can be. Soon the topic moves to people comparing how many milligrams and pain killers they need and it feels like your pain is minimized because you are on less than most people. Two people try to convince you to try their juice remedy and you want to run screaming. It’s so depressing!
Aren’t support groups supposed to be valuable in learning how to cope with illness and encourage one another?
The answer is yes! Studies completed by Dr. David Spiegel have concluded that support groups do in fact improve the quality of life of those who are willing to attend. Recent studies (CANCER, Sept 2007) have show that support groups do not actually increase the lifespan of one who lives with cancer. But regardless, by having one’s feelings about her illness validated, her skills of coping with chronic illness are definitely more improved.
Whether you are looking for leadership program ideas for your small group, or you’re just thinking about attending one, you may have cause for concern about how fast a group can go from being a friendly, honest place to a time of complaints and even bickering. Would you like some fresh icebreaker games for small groups to perk people up?
Here are 10 tips to help you make your chronic illness support group include some laughter as well as just the discussion of challenges. And these ideas will work for any groups, from a Dementia support groups in Dallas to an Ebsteins Anomaly support group. And these ideas are perfect to have when you are creating a proposal for starting up a support group.
1. Cut out some smiley faces and sad faces and glue them back-to-back to a stick or plastic knife. As you go around the circle sharing have each person make sure they are able to hold up both sides of the faces when they are talking about their illness. For example, Mary could hold up the sad face and say, “Preparing for a joint replacement and all the therapy involved afterwards is a bit scary.” (Then flip it over) “But the upside is my family and friends are already volunteering to come over and help me out around the house.”
2. Rethink your concept of what counts as indoor games for small groups. For example, have everyone bring things for a JOY box and then have everyone choose something to take with them out of it at each meeting. It could be a rubber frog, a favorite poem, a note someone sent, an encouraging book, a silly or sentimental DVD. Have everyone return them by the next meeting to share again.
3. Be goofy together with ice breakers for small groups. Make up a fun, corny theme song to start each meeting, or pick a tune everyone knows and make up new lyrics. Check out comedian Anita Renfroe’s website for some terrific examples that will leave you in stitches.
4. Find some goofy props to bring to your meeting. Don’t make anyone feel they must use or wear them. (Forcing someone to wear bug antennas may scare them away for good.) But make sure they are available to encourage light-hearted moments before discussing the depressing reasons you are there. You can find hundreds of items for a reasonable price at Oriental Trading Supply.
5. Though it can be a challenge, don’t let your group tune into a platform for any member to talk continuously about his or her disease, the treatments, alternative treatments and even complaints. If someone tends to dominate the conversation, let your group know you are implementing the use of a timer to make sure everyone has equal opportunity to share. Set whatever guidelines you wish, for instance, you could allow people to vent for sixty seconds on any topic. Or they could share about an alternative treatment they’ve found useful, but when the timer rings, time is up!
6. Have everyone bring something to put into a basket of encouragement for someone else. It may be someone who is having surgery from your group or a friend of someone in the group who has just been diagnosed. Brainstorm together about what items people would like, and be sure to remember sometimes the personal notes mean the most. If it’s appropriate consider including family members.
7. Go out for one evening just for fun. If everyone want to act their age you may consider a sit down restaurant, or you can head on over to Chuck E. Cheese’s or Build-A-Bear. It’s a terrific icebreaker for small groups since people who haven’t opened up in the group may find this is a more relaxed environment. Consider including family members to participate.
8. Provide handouts or items that encourage people to thrive with illness. For example, National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week always has fun items like bumper stickers, static clings, stickers, pins, mugs, etc. with the different themes like, “My illness is invisible but my hope shines through!”
9. When you schedule guest speakers, remind them that you want to provide the most positive outlook as possible, while still being practical. Invite them to pass out props, encouraging articles. Listen to your speakers before scheduling them. Some illness speakers are quite depressing.
10. The people in your group are quite amazing and able to make a difference. This is important for them to remember since they often feel so out of control. Your group may not be able to actually walk for charity, but they can likely work at a registration table, pass out bottles of water for a walk/run, or even just hand out presents to kids at the children’s hospital. Teens with chronic illness often get support groups can be great motivators for these kinds of outings. Find a project people are passionate about where they can see they are making a difference in the lives of others.
Support groups can provide some of the most influential relationships that can help one live successfully with chronic illness. The environment of the group, however, can make or break its usefulness. With these few simple tips, your group can be a refuge and a place of true relaxation, creating an special group for people to create friendships that could just last as long as the illness, perhaps indefinitely.
